Won’t Somebody Please Stop Thinking of the Children?- Quit Chasin’ Transcript

The following conversation is an excerpt from the Quit Chasin Podcast published August 2nd, 2024.  Some of the information has been edited or condensed for clarity and because we say “Um” and “like” and stuff like that and I felt like cutting some out.  To hear the full conversation, click Here or to hear the entire Quit Chasin catalogue, click Here.

DG: I owe you an apology, buddy.
AK: I'm passionate about this thing.
DG: I know you are. That's why I owe you an apology. It was one of your amped up early into the season, I think I flippantly or dismissively was just like,” dude, why do you care”?
AK: That sounds like you.
DG: Buy some crappy beach towels somewhere else, You know what I mean? Like, why? Why drive to a Phillies game to get this thing? …That being said, I went on Sunday on the Schwarber Beach Towel Day, And let me tell you something about those beach towels: They are hot, man.

Photo Credit: eBay Seller crshore

AK: They are dope? Oh, damn it, I have two kids I could have had two beach towels!
DG: They are insanely cool, It's the Schwar-bomb graphic that you see on the screen after he hits a homer with the away teams dugout and the fanatic laying across it. Like it is just the *chef kiss* of a towel.  None of the kids wanted ‘em.  Every adult in that stadium wanted one, They had boxes left over. And of course, you know how it is, You get whatever “Hey, what do you do with those extra ones?” “ You can't have them, We can't give them out”. Kim (out of curiosity at some point) went up to one of the, you know, ushers or gate people and was just like, what do you guys do with the leftover stuff? And the answer she got was, “you know what? We don't know”. Last weekend was the Cars Giveaway…

Photo Credit: eBay Seller philadelphiaCLOSET

AK: Oh my God That was an amazing giveaway!

DG: He was like, we had so many that none of the kids wanted them, the parents wanted them.

AK: Why are the Phillies so unbelievably stupid in promoting themselves to the general public? Guys, and I know that the folks on Crossing Broad have brought this up, but I think it's time to revisit this conversation, make it available to everyone. You're going to get enough sponsorship dollars. I work in a sponsorship-based world, You're going to be fine. Let it (be) available to everyone. Let all of us have the opportunity to get this tchotchke, because Danny, as you texted me, my God…

DG: Oh, I'm not getting there yet.
AK: I don't want to steal your thunder I'm sorry.

DG: Yeah, there's a couple more points in there, it is Layers because on the surface of it, when you said it weeks ago about it, I was like… dude… it's a tchotchke . It's a giveaway tchotchke, get out of here with this. Well… me, I'm a layers guy. Call me Mr. Onion.

AK: Or Shrek

DG: Oh yeah, that is a Shrek thing, isn't it? I've seen that, I've seen Shrek.
AK: Wow, that's one cinematic universe.
DG: I saw one of them and it was very enjoyable,  It was great…So, no, here's the other layer to it… So it was a hot day, It was a day game Sunday Kim and I, we were feeling bougie we bought, you know, 100 level section seats.
AK: Oh, okay, okay, Danny.
DG: Row 11.

AK: Yeah, im a (section) 420 guy, but go ahead, buddy.
DG: Row 11, 114. It was great. I was behind Harper. That picture of Harper I sent you, I didn't zoom in, man, I didn't zoom in.
AK: I didn't get the picture.
DG: Oh, I sent you a picture of Harper.
AK: I didn't get it, buddy.
DG: Awwww, Oh, that's okay.
AK: I would have told you how amazing and beautiful it was.
DG: With the picture you didn't get, no zoom picture.
AK: I need you to post that on the Facebook Quit Chasin post so that I can see it, but so that we can also track content.
DG: Yeah, sure, sure, sure. So, and it's hot. We're basting.
AK: Sure, sure, dude. The day we got this (Alex Points to Hat), Father's Day, like 97 (degrees) and (section) 114? Dude, that's no coverage. You're in the sun.

Photo Credit: eBay seller ramsmariners

DG: Yeah, we were in the sun. Yeah, like 145, just dying, dying of death. Kim's feeling it and I'm not throwing her under the bus., I was feeling it too. And she was like, “hey”, I was like, all right, let's get to the end of the third. And, you know, we'll pop up. Maybe we'll find one of those standing room spots, you know, under the cover and like hang out with that… Ended up being what we were doing after we took a walk around the store to get in the air conditioner for a little bit. So while walking around, finding a spot with shade that we could still have a decent view of the game. Just taking in the crowd. There was a couple of things I noticed:

One, the percentage of children to adults there, 20, 80.

AK: So 20% adults, 80% children or 20% children, 80% adults?

Photo Credit: eBay Seller mar849634

DG: Yeah, for the most part, it was groups of adults, because groups of adults like baseball games. That's who has the patience and the mental whatever and the disposable income to sit there for two and a half hours and watch a baseball game. It's adults. How about we reward them, right? The other thing I noticed: must be season ticket holders, package holders, people who go to a lot of games…I don't know what, but the giveaway Castellanos basketball jersey. Do you know how many adults walking around pushing strollers had that on?

AK: Outstanding. You know what? No, man, You know what? Good for them, Good for the fan.
DG: I hear you, This is at the same time that Kim and I are pining for one of these cherry towels, Right?  We're pining for one.
AK: You almost got a kidnap a kid for like twenty five seconds.*
DG: And I am pointing out in the dozens of adults wearing a kid giveaway, So also sizable on them as well So they're making them for sure, why now? Here is the coup de grace: an hour later, an hour later, this towel is on eBay for $75.
AK: There, we got there, That is infuriating, Danny! I could have had two of them! And you know what the funny thing is? I could have made $150 or I could have kept two towels, And you know what I would have done, Danny, because I'm a real Philadelphia Phillies fan? Danny, I keep the towels.

DG: Yeah, and enjoy them because it's a sweet towel.
AK: My daughters adore them, and my daughters would take them everywhere, to the pool, to the beach, to the shower. I don't care, those become the most iconic towels in this household, I know that about my family and that frustrates me because if Cara and I would have gone and we would have gotten four towels, the epic-ness of us rolling up four deep, to Aunt Pammy's and go and swim with our Shwarbombs days, like, please. And it's not like they didn't have the towels left over, that's what frustrates me about these, is they have them left over, so just give them to everybody.
DG: Boxes in boxes, sitting there.

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*The Quit Chasin Podcast does not condone kidnapping.  Obviously, come on… even in written form that was clearly said in jest.